Sad To Belong

What if you are already married then some years after you’ll meet another person and you’ll fall in love with that person only you won’t leave your husband/wife and yet you’ll spend the rest of your life loving that other person and wondering what would have happened if you’ve made a different choice?

Sad, isn't it?

I’ve read several books about this and all of them spoke of a love so strong that the parties continue to love one another even after so many years and their affairs have long been gone. But I wonder, is it really love or just an unfinished business? Is it really love or just an obsession? Is it really love or just an illusion that they hold on to? But what if it’s really love? Isn’t it painful to spend the rest of your life being married to another and yet loving another? Isn’t it sad to spend the rest of your life wishing for something that you can’t have? Isn’t it pathetic to spend the rest of your life wondering about the what could have been’s?

And isn’t it more painful for their partners, knowing that although their husband/wife stayed with them their hearts doesn’t belong to them completely? Knowing that they would never be able to make their partners truly happy? To live normally and yet not really because somewhere in their hearts lives the fear that one day when they woke up, they’ll find themselves alone? Isn't it sad to continue loving your husband/wife even though you know that they are in love with someone else?

I remember a conversation I had with some of my friends during our college days, when that question was asked one of my friends answered, “then you’re simply not meant for each other”. A simple statement and yet it rendered us all speechless. Because somehow I think that’s true, you’re not meant to be together and you simply have to accept things as they are no matter how painful it may be.

And then same question, a couple of years later and a different set of friends, one friend answered, “my mom said that in every person’s life there is one great love but it may not necessarily be their husband or wife”. It’s a sad statement and yet for some it’s true. They may love their husbands/wives but just not as much as they loved the other. They might have a good life but a part of them would always be longing for another. But if that was the case, is it still a good life?

I don't know much about love, but this I know. I don't want this to happen to me. I don't want to get married to one guy and in love with another guy. I don't want to live a life filled with regrets. I don't want to spend the rest of my life longing for things that could never be.