I found a new job. I should be happy, I should be ecstatic. Wasnt' I ranting before about how i'm out of job, about how i'm not doing anything, how helpless I feel, etc., etc.? Then why, oh, why am I not happy? Why am I not excited? Why am I not looking forward to working again? Could it be because I know, somewhere deep inside me, that this isn't really what I want? That there is something else that my heart so desperately desires?
A friend told me to just be happy with what I have, and just patiently wait for God's plans for me. I know she said that with all good intentions, and how I wish it is but sometimes it isn't that easy. Especially when you're frustrated and angry and hurt, it isn't that easy.
But I know that one day, I would understand why things are happening this way. When I get pass feeling the pain and the frustration, I know I would understand. Because I still believe that I would have my heart's deepest desire.
In His Time.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
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