Twenty-five

Just want to warn you that this entry is quite long. You might want to just come back when you have longer time to spare. =)

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This was supposed to be an entry for my twenty-fifth birthday but for reasons I can’t remember I was not able to post this. But as I’m still twenty-five, I thought it’ll be fine to post this.

In all of my twenty-five years here on earth, I’ve met a lot of people. Some just in passing, some have stayed for a while and there are a few who stayed for quite some time and who I hope would be there forever and ever and ever. But then again, no matter how long or short I’ve known them, some have played a major role in shaping the person that I am now. As I am celebrating my twenty-fifth birthday, I’ve thought of twenty-five people who’ve influenced me one way or another.

1. Mama – my idol. The one person that I’ve always looked up to. The one person who’ve influenced all my decisions big time. I have this feeling inside me that I owe it to her to be the best person that I could be and to do really good in life as a way of paying her back for all the sacrifices and hardships that she had to endure for us. She has given up a lot of her dreams, if not all, for us. Sometimes I want to ask her if we’re worth it but I would always hold myself back because I’m afraid that she might answer in the negative though knowing my mother, she would never tell us that. Sometimes it really amazes me where she draws her strength to continue even when things are so damn hard. My aunts always tell us that of the four of us her daughters, I’m the one who’s most like her. And I say, if I could only be a quarter of my mother, I would be a completely better person.

2-7. Acy, Chel, Nina, Kite, Michelle, Eloi – my girls. There are a lot of things that I want to say about them and yet I can’t seem to find the words. Probably because words simply are not enough to describe how much they mean to me. I’ve always said that it’s alright for me not to find a special someone so long as I have them with me, I know that I’d be alright. They are the first ones I think of whenever something, good or bad, would happen to me. They know almost everything about me, the good things and the bad, and believe me there are a lot of the bad, and yet they still loved me and are loving me still. With them, I never need be afraid because I know that whatever happens I’d always be welcomed with open arms. Amazingly, when you look at us individually, you would see a totally different personality and yet we’re the best of friends. We’ve been through a lot already, our friendship has been put to the test again and again and yet we’re still standing. Distance and time may separate us and for quite some time it had, but I know deep in my heart that the friendship would always remain. Their friendship remains to be one of the most constant thing in my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

8. Dimple – my favorite cousin. I remember when we were small and my mother would get mad at us (quite often, may I add) because my sisters and I are so being naughty and bad, she would tell us, “Sana si Dimple na lang naging anak ko, mabait, masipag mag-aral, wala akong magiging sakit ng ulo!” And somehow, it stuck, at least with me. I strived to do better at school, I behaved, I tried to be a good kid where I succeeded most of the time and at other times, well, I’m only human. So, somehow, my accomplishments, my achievements, I owe them to my cuz.

9-11. Bom, Jela, Mark – my friends from my former office. They are one of the best things that AIG has ever given me. Not only had they helped me get through the hardest days at the office, or given me reason to look forward to going to work everyday, they also taught me a lot of things. I always enjoy our sessions where we would talk about a variety of topics. From the mundane things like what happened on our way to work to more serious ones like our dreams and life in general. I also appreciate the fact that I could always turn to them whenever I would feel extremely happy or extremely sad. I’m really happy that I’ve met them and was given a chance to be their friend.

12. E.D. – not a lot of people knows about you, and somehow I want to keep it that way. Frankly, I don’t know the real reason why, whether I’m ashamed of what other people would say about you or it’s more of how people would see me when they find out about you, I really don’t know. I do know that I should be ashamed of myself for even thinking about that but what can I do? I guess I’m just much too much insecure that other people’s opinion matter so much to me. But then again, it wouldn’t be proper to not include you in this list as you are a very huge part of my teenage years. How and why, I wouldn’t elaborate because saying that much would give away a lot of things and I’m not yet ready for that.

13. Unreciprocated – the reason behind the “unreciprocated” thing. This guy has made me laugh, cry, happy, miserable, and he did all that without him ever knowing about it. Whether what I felt for him could really be described as love, I don’t know, but deep in my heart I believe that it was. But isn’t it love when for all of five years, there’s been nobody else but him? Sure I’ve had other crushes, but with them, I know that it’s only a crush but with him, I know that it’s different. After him, no one and nobody has ever made me feel as strongly as I did for him. One thing is for sure though… next time I feel that way, I hope that it wouldn’t be unreciprocated anymore.

14. Karen Perez – my soul sister. One of the few people who I really, really miss. I don’t know what’s with this girl but it seems that words aren’t necessary for us to understand each other. We would just take a look at one another and we would instantly know whether one of us needs cheering up, a shoulder to cry on, or we’d just laugh. And I know for a fact that she’s the only one who could make me go out of the classroom in the middle of a lecture just to gossip! I really miss her. I wish we could find time to get together again, though it might be a long time before that can happen again as she’s already in another country but I know that one day we’d get together again and it would be as if we’ve never parted at all.

15-21. Yang, Faye, Carol, Jo, Ebay, Gel, Anna – my high school friends. The girls with whom I started to build my dreams. The first ones who shared their lives with me. The first ones who taught me the real value and meaning of friendship and for that I would always be grateful to them. Though we hardly see each other anymore and have somehow drifted apart, I know that the friendship and love we had for each other is still there. Even though it’s very seldom that we get together, whenever we do, it’s as if the years in between has never really happened because the warmth and camaraderie is still there. I just hope we could all play a more active part in each others’ lives.

22. Mrs. Espinosa – my first high school adviser and the teacher. Why? During one of our homerooms, she was giving us a lecture about something, which I can’t remember anymore, and she was really disappointed. While she was talking I was looking at her and when she glanced my way she thought that I was looking at her angrily, which I wasn’t. Anybody who knows me, knows that that’s how I really look at a person and it could really sometimes be taken in a different way. Anyway, she got mad at me of course and did not talk to me for a few days and in those days, every morning she would give us a lecture of how different the youth of today is, etc., etc. I finally gave in and apologized and explained to her that I did not mean anything with how I looked at her. I don’t remember clearly our talk but I could remember that I was crying really hard and then she hugged me. Ever since then, we became close. Of course, I won’t forget how on during our graduation practice on our fourth year, she confronted the teachers who are facilitating the practice because someone told her that I was not included in the list of awardees who were called during practice but it turned out that those who were called are the students who will be offering flowers during the mass! And so, I also ended up as one of the flower offerers! I won’t forget her because of all my teachers and professors she was the only one who really cared for all her students. She would really go out of her way to help her students in whatever they need. And even after her students have long graduated, whenever they would need her, she’s always willing to lend a helping hand. She’s not just a teacher, but a very good mother as well.

23-24. Ms. Sophie and Ma’am Nilda – my first supervisors. Not only that, they were also my mothers, confidants, and friends. They are always there willing to guide me and teach me the things they know. Their faith and trust in me and in what I can do really helped me a lot in developing my self confidence. I was really fortunate that my first job was with them because they helped in making the transition from being a student to being a part of the big world easier for me.

25. Yung lalaking nasalubong ko dati sa Ayala. Just refer to this post for the explanation. =)

And there you have it. The 25 people who influenced me in one way or another. I've still got long life to live, at least I hope I do, so for sure this list would be longer in the years to come.

To those 25 people, thank you so much for helping me become the person that I am today. I feel so blessed that in one way or another, God has let our roads meet. It may sound too showbiz, but really, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be who and what I am today. I know, i'm far from perfect but I would like to believe that I am a good person naman. So again, thank you and may you influence more people into becoming better persons.