Making Time

The past few months has been really toxic at work and I’ve realized that I got so absorbed with the things at the office that I forgot about the people around me and even myself. The past months has been filled with overtimes, working weekends and holidays, not to mention a lot of pressure and stress. I missed a couple of family bondings, re-scheduled and turned down invitations with friends, so many unread books and unwatched movies. My life revolved around the office and work. So sad.

Sometimes, I feel that our sense of responsibility is so strong that we tend to ignore the more important things like spending time with our family, connecting with friends, or doing the things that we love. Sometimes, we sacrifice so much of our own happiness because we are being ruled by our responsibilities. I’m not saying that we should be carefree or lazy or anything. I’m just saying that every now and then, it’s nice to, you know, just be. I’ve heard far too many stories of people who spends so much time at work that they missed their children’s firsts, who lost their families because they simply don’t have the time to be with them, or who lost touch with friends because again, they don’t have the time. Come to think of it, we sometimes love our work so much, we give all our time and effort into it but no matter how much of ourselves we give, it’s never a guarantee that our jobs will always be ours. There are times when even if you spent your everything for that company, you still can’t say that you’re indispensible. If you leave, someone else can still do what you’re doing. But with your family and friends, there will only be one you.

I admit, I’m guilty of this. I tend to enjoy working too much. I could say no to invitations from friends if I’m busy. Or work even if my entire family goes out of town or something. Actually, I’ve been guilty of this even when I was still at school. It’s bad, I know but sometimes, I really have the tendency to just let the world pass me by when I’m loaded with things to do. Then something will happen to make me realize the things that I’ve been missing and after that I would feel sad. And it’s not a good feeling, sadness coupled with guilt…it’s really not a good feeling.

But lately, things have been shaping up. I go home early (at least earlier than the “usual”), I’ve seen some of my friends, I’ve read a couple of books (at home and relaxed, because before I read while commuting to and from work and I’m telling you, that’s no way to enjoy a book!), seen some movies and to cut it short, I can do things that I enjoy without feeling guilty about it. Because admit it, when you have tons of things to do at work, each leisure time you take, no matter how short, even if it’s just a couple of minutes, you feel guilty. You’re thinking of how that time should have been spent working. Each time you go home early you’re feeling anxious and what goes on in your mind is: “It’s still early (even if it’s already midnight), I could have stayed a bit longer and finished this or that.” If not that, you’re probably already listing your To Do’s the following day.

I once read this in an email: “If you want to take a break, do so. The world could survive without you for five minutes, even longer.” And it’s true you know, I’m realizing that now. So now, each time that I feel like taking a break from it all, I take one. Just for five minutes, of course. :P