Life's Crossroads

I’m at a point in my life where I have no clear indication of where the roads are leading me. I’m constantly asking myself where I want to go or what I want to do and each time I’m nowhere near an answer. A lot of choices are available to me but I’m afraid to take that step that will lead me to where I’m supposed to be. All the options I have are good, it is just me who is scared shitless of the unknown. I mean really, what else could be stopping me from putting my foot down and make a decision other than fear? I became so comfortable living in this box and now I’m too scared to step out of it. I so want to make a change in my life, I’m so tired of living everyday exactly as it is and yet I’m not doing anything to make a difference. I’m paralyzed, frozen.

A few years back, I had a plan. I have my life all straightened out. Then real life came along and I realized that I really can’t plan it all, that the unexpected happens and throws you out of the curb. Sometimes you can pick up where you left off but more often that not, you have to start all over again. We can make Plan A or Plan B even up to Plan Z but we can never be sure that we will be able do everything that we planned. Life offers no guarantees, from out of the blue, little things happen that will make you change plans every so often until you just throw your hands up in the air and let life lead you into wherever it wills.

And after all that, I’m still standing in this damn crossroad, still clueless as to which path to take. I could only pray for guidance. And for strength that whatever decision I make, I’ll be strong enough to face whatever it brings me – success, disappointment, happiness, or pain. But please, don’t let me have regrets. Never regrets.