Tears and Rainbows

The past couple of days was hard. What I have always known came back to the surface to hit me again real hard. I guess I was just too stubborn to accept what I should have accepted a long time ago. You were never mine. Yes, maybe you did try to see if you will feel something for me, I would like to believe that the effort would not have been there if you did not try to see me as other than your friend. But it was just not enough. You feel so strongly about her that nobody else will do.

What you said the other day, that you are willing to wait no matter how long for her even if you know that your chances are slim, that hurts. But it also made me realize that i'm a fighting a lost fight. Whatever slim chances of hope that I have, it all vanished with that statement. Maybe it's for the best, maybe it's for my own good. Maybe that is what I need to really start forgetting what I feel about you, heal my broken heart, and eventually move on. But it will take some time, I don't forget easily, that's the problem. But that's my problem not yours. Actually, this whole thing is my problem, not yours. You did not ask me to fall in love with you, I just did.

I will still be your friend, yes, that much I can promise you. But maybe, just not like as before. Because, i'm still hurting after all.

I will be okay, someday I would be able to look back at this whole thing and just smile with fondness, maybe. As they say, there's always a rainbow after each storm, so i'll just let myself be sad for a while and let the tears flow, so that after all these, I will finally see my rainbow.