Crossing The Lines

Oh I can’t begin to tell you just how stressful the past week has been! I was doing okay then all of a sudden I was fighting back emotions that I don’t think I should feel. Don’t you just hate it when you think that you don’t have the right to feel what you’re feeling so you fight it back? It’s like you don’t have the freedom with your emotions. When feeling becomes a battle between the mind and the heart, it can be so tiring.

When do you say enough to a person who is undergoing a difficult time in his life? You know that what they're going through is hard but is that enough excuse to fall behind on their other responsibilities? If you have personal problems, will you let it affect your work to the point where your other co-workers are also being affected? Won't you feel it when you are also dragging the team down because of what you are going through personally? I'm having a hard time dealing with this situation because whenever I would get annoyed with this person, I would feel guilty immediately after because I know that this person has a big, complicated problem. I can't express what i'm really feeling out of sensitivity to what the other person is feeling and I also don't want to talk with this person regarding our "situation" because i'm afraid that I might say something that might hurt. So in the end, I get frustrated.

Add to that that i'm crushing on someone who I don't think I should be crushing on because, well, he's married. And I don't want to dwell on this one because I know that the less I think of him the better. I wouldn't get anything out of this but guilt and frustration and hurt, so there.

So. There.